Mission: Kenya

Let the countdown begin!

2006-07-05T19:29:00.000-07:00

Is it really only 2 short months until we leave?
The answer is YES!
We fly out of Washington DC on 9/10 arriving in Nairobi on 9/11.
I can barely imagine.

I am so excited, so scared, so uterlly blessed to be doing this!
Tonight, in the bath Rachael said, "Mom, i am SO EXCITED about Kenya. What kind of fruit will we eat!?".

We are reading everything we can get our hands on. Rev. G. Childs recommended a book called "Where There is No Doctor", and I looked it up and found it also had a companion, "Where There is No Dentist" I ordered them and they came in the mail today. These are books with rudimentary instructions on everything from what a canker sore looks like to how to deliver a baby!

Also, we are listening to these Swahili language learning CDs and Spencer and I are getting such a kick out of saying stuff like "HODI!" which is what you say when you enter a house or replying "Karibuni" which is the way you welcome more than one person into your home... we will just be driving along and I will say "Hodi!" and Spence will say "Karibu, Karibuni!" and we dye laughing.
So now I just have to get through a few months of money stress and saving and we will be there! Living with 36 children!
Teaching 187!

Amazing.

Well, that's all for tonight. I know, not my usual inspiring post full of scripture, but an update all the same.

PS...
the picture is of Spencer, Rachael (short hair), Emily and Carl (my sister Lisa's two cuties) who visited last week. We were trying to get some special time in before Africa. It was fabulous. This is them on the turtle at the zoo!

Supporting Us Part I: ...and then depression set in

2006-06-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

Have you read The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis? In the book, a demon is corresponding with his protégé and through these letters, we, the reader get an excellent glance into the “forces” working against us on a moment by moment basis. It is a brilliant work of fiction and I have been thinking a lot about it in light of the fact that I have been really “in it” as Natalie Portman says to Zack Braf in the movie Garden State meaning—in every way I have been really pushed to the limit with challenges ever since I elected to become more committed to my church. Some of these attacks are of the natural world nature but most are of the spiritual kind. Even still, for each very good thing that takes place (no Long QT disorder, travel arrangements made, court approval to go to Africa with the kids, gifts of books and supplies) I am getting hit with one challenge after another. The latest seems to be an emerging group of folks who have only some information, misinformation or just personal feelings of bias against our trip to Kenya. If these people were not important to me, it would not really matter to me what they think, but because they do matter to me I am feeling very sad about it.

The topic is: folks who love us, but don’t support what we are doing.

This is something that has become a big undercurrent in my conversations with friends, family, church members and even my clients that I will be leaving behind. They care about me and the kids but really have strong conviction that what I am doing is the wrong thing. As a result, they don’t know how to talk to me or what they should be doing or how they should be reacting.

My first reaction to some of these conversations was WOW. Blindside… but after having several conversations of both the positive kind (someone this weekend said to me, I want to thank you in advance for what you will be doing in Africa) and that of the negative, I am realizing that I need to be a better communicator about how I feel about things. I know that many of you have real fears about what we are doing and I am here to validate that. I also know that when someone in our life, that we care about makes a decision to do something that greatly changes their lifestyle or does something that conflicts with what we would be willing to do in our own lives, for good or for bad, it brings up feelings in us of love, kindness and hope but also fear and uncertainty about our own personal path in life and the choices we have made. Its uncomfortable, but that’s growth! So please, if you are feeling this way, read on my friends. I go into more detail in Part II… and for some happier topics and inspiration please read some of my previous posts!

Supporting Us Part II: The FAQ

2006-06-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

In true Angela fashion, I am going to put it all out there for you (and all the million such random blogspot readers) to see Q&A style (well more like statement/answer style but you get the point):

Q: I think what you are doing is a really bad idea…

A: To this general statement I usually respond with, “What type of bad idea?” because I don’t know how to respond to you if you can’t share you true feelings. I may have heard the LORD calling, but I am not hearing you as well. Is your reason any of the following?

Q: It is a dangerous place to be, and I am worried that you guys will come back hurt – or worse!

A: Let me start by saying that I am in no way ignorant to the dangers of living in a third world country and have in no way trivialized them in my preparations. Concern one is the health and welfare of my children. I do understand that there are several pandemic diseases that we could contract. This includes things that are curable but bad such as malaria and things that are not such as HIV. However, other than taking the recommended vaccines, preventatives and reasonable precautions with hygiene, water, etc. there is not much to do other than – well just NOT GO. (more on this later). Please also remember I have 10+ years in medical education and am a mother, this does equip me well!

Q: Ok so you do what you can for your health but what about terrorism and tribal infighting? I heard Kenya is on the state department’s list of travel warnings for terrorist activities.

A: I need to say two things about this: 1) Again, I am not ignorant to this and have done research and talked to many people. It is a VERY small risk that terrorist activities or tribal warfare harms us and 2) Saying insensitive things like, “I would never go there cause they behead people these days” IS NOT HELPING. I have a real HEALTHY fear about our well being from both a health and a terror standpoint. Please do not insult me by assuming I am just electing to ignore these things.

Q: It is one thing to ignore this stuff for you but what about your children.

A: This is just one of the many “spins” I have heard on the same topic, the hardest of all in my opinion. YOU HURT MY FEELINGS WHEN YOU SAY THESE THINGS. You might have a strong conviction that what I am doing is risky for my children but please consider how you would feel if lots of people started telling you that you were a bad parent. OUCH! I don’t think that what I am doing makes me a bad parent and if you feel that then I can’t do much of anything about it other than to say as parents we are responsible for the physical, mental and spiritual health of our children and I think that the benefits on the mental and spiritual side FAR outweigh any risk that my children will face physically. So please, if you truly care about me, stop implying that I am being a bad or irresponsible mother.

Q: There is a lot of good you could do here why do you think you have to go to AFRICA?

A: Because this is where I heard my calling. Please don’t assert that children here in America or anywhere else are any more or less worth my attention. In my current church society I was feeling a bit marginalized, un-useful, and was questioning the presentation of our doctrine. This just compounded some PERSONAL issues – my own mid-life crisis I will say. If you know me well then you know I have faced some significant upheavals in my life over the last decade including the loss of a brother, a job and a husband. I don’t believe in being negative and playing victim. I believe that things happen in the LORD’s Divine Providence and I have a responsibility to find the lesson and continue to lead a life that means something to me. I have changed my priorities and Africa fits with my new life model to put my children and my church first and everything else after that. I also feel that the cultural experience will be of great benefit to myself and my family.

So…now that I have answered the objections I will answer the big question:

Q: Ok, so I hear you but I still can’t support your trip.

A: Here is my best answer to how you can support us. 1) PRAYER. Pray for us, for our mission, for safe travels and a safe return home. Pray, pray, pray. Especially if you don’t support us! 2) BE HONEST. You don’t have to agree with me but I would rather you tell me you can’t be supportive then lie and tip toe around things. Remember that in the end, the LORD puts us each in freedom to do what we think is right. I respect your right to freedom and I hope you can respect mine… and finally 3) DO YOUR RESEARCH. I have heard so much misinformation floating around out there. Everything from where we are going, to what is going on in that part of the world to incorrect statements regarding our church and pastor in Kisii. Read the dailies, do some research and if you don’t really know ask me. You can’t believe everything you read and hear.

I LOVE YOU ALL AND HOPE THAT IF YOU CAN’T SUPPORT US, YOU CAN STILL LOVE US, PRAY FOR US AND COMMUNICATE WITH ME IN A WAY THAT IS RESPECTFUL OF WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO IN MY LIFE, FOR MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN.

Making Peace With Our Pride

2006-06-16T15:20:00.000-07:00

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Cause

Effect

I know that many believe in karma…that what we do today affects us tomorrow

That the cause of our grief is related to those we caused grief;

That the source of our strength is related to who we gave strength to in a time of need.

And then, there are those who say that for every bad thing that happens, something good will happen to balance it out.

For me, the jury is still out on both “karma” and the “yin yang” effect. I know that I do believe that the LORD’s divine providence but sometimes I am not sure how to interpret it, and I wonder are these concepts, both karma and yin yang, which are deeply rooted in religious traditions, just another way of acknowledging the stream of providence?

Yesterday, I was cruising down the street when my air conditioner suddenly stopped and then my windows would not open… I pulled over… took a breath and turned the car off. It didn’t start again for an hour. Bad alternator and some other electrical junk: $500 later, its fixed.

Boy was I sad, angry, feeling jipped. Here I am trying to save money and poof! Like that, half a grand down the drain on a old van that I won’t even be driving in 3 months.

Rev. Khalid said “I am very sorry to learn from you that your car was broken down, but my happiness is that it was fixed up though you used $500, but that is how life sometimes misbehaves. But we must ask ourselves why does the Lord allow this to happen to us?”

Just as I was pondering this question, the phone rang. It was Kristin Tabor from the University of Rochester. I called her yesterday impatient waiting for the results of the heart tests we took to find out if we had LONG QT. She said, “Hi Angela, Well, a little pushing can always do good. I got the results from the tests… All three of you are clear! No LONG QT!”

I almost cried. I didn’t realize how much I was concerned about it. Early on after we got the tests I prayed to the LORD. “LORD, I said, please help us. If I have the disorder it is ok but please have my children be clear. I don’t know if I can go to Kenya in good conscious if my children have this disorder. I would never forgive myself if one of them had an episode and I could not help them because we were so far from medical care.” After I said this prayer, I said to myself, “If they are clear, it will be a sign from the LORD that his blessing is on this trip.”

It was the first time in my life I had ever really asked the LORD with a devoted heart to help my family. But now, after LEVI, I finally understand a sliver of what it must be like to loose a child.

In all honesty, part of me said this because I was scared, not just for my children but also for the big leap I was taking by going on this journey to Kenya. I wanted an “out”. Not just a little “out” a big face-saving out, if I chickened out. Something to blame it on if I got to scared and backed out. But then, one day, I got honest with myself and my good friend Burgandy. I said to her, “Burg, I feel awful. I don’t want my kids to be sick, but for a while there, I think I almost hoped one of us have LQT so that I can back out of this if I get to scared. But then, I realized if I get to scared, I don’t need an excuse. I will just do it and that will be ok.”

Since then, the LORD has allowed me many blessings on this trip. An outpouring of support from friends near and far, people known and unknown, good blessings with work so I can save money and moments that humble me – like the van breaking down, to keep my feet planted in the ground when all I can think of is heaven.

This is when I realized that with His help, I did it… I had made peace with myself and my pride.

A little boy.. a tiny seed... and a mom who never denied the possibilites

2006-06-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

Many of you have asked...what is GRAPEFRUITREE? Here is the answer. It is really the precipice of what is evolving into Mission-Kenya:

The little boy rushes into the kitchen to share his latest treasure with his Mom. It is a tiny seed, cupped gently in his hands as if it would break should he hold it too tightly. It's not the thing you would expect to bring such pleasure. It has no pretty colors like a fallen robin's egg or the soft touch of a feather that has floated to the ground. It isn't even a pretty seed. It is course, white, and hard: a cast off: the remains of the day's lunch, but this does not seem to matter to the boy.

Peering up with eyes as brown as the soft soil he will nurture the seed in, the boy enters his plea, "Can we grow it Mom?"

Bending down from the sink, hands still foaming and red from the hot soapy dishwater, she studies her son with the rusty hair and hands so like her own. She knows that seeds rarely grow from a piece of lunchbox fruit, let alone a dried out old grapefruit seed, but logic quickly yields to warm memories of kneeling in the garden with her own father.

"We can certainly give it a try" she says resolutely and she turns to find just the right old chipped up coffee mug to cradle the seed and the hope in her son's heart.

My mother tells this story with much more eloquence and grace. After all, she is speaking in memory of her son, lost unexpectedly to a heart disorder at the age of 21. He was the little boy who planted that seed and that little seed grew into a tall tree that still lives on today, a vital and present reminder of my brother. As a mother I can certainly relate to the need to find those quiet and mostly ordinary moments when we most know our children and remember them with grace when times are hard.

Our family often jokes about how we mark time before Levi died and after... post LDC (Levi David Cowley)...as if it is our own version of the coming of christ. As a family with deep spiritual convictions, this is not meant in jest, rather just a way for us to somehow connect our current way of life, full of new perspective with times when we had such a different understanding of the fragility of life. For me, the transformation was close to automatic and has been dramatic.

We so often hear about people who have near-death experiences and they emerge changed because they recognize how short the life we live on this earth really is. This is not what I am talking about however. Right before he died, my brother went shopping in Seoul, Korea (he was stationed there in the Army) and he bought me a painting of two beautiful cosmopolitan looking women. This picture confirmed to me that my brother looked up to me as the smart, caring, beautiful and intellectual older sister. Someone I admired but did not have the courage to become. Someone, that through the eyes of a little brother, was a reality.

That is when I asked myself, what would Levi expect of me and my life now? How can I be that woman he loved and looked up to? The answers came easy, but they are hard to put into words. I can only summarize by using catch phrases from popular culture like "Just Dance, Live Your Best Life, Be the Change you Wish to See in the World, Never Settle, Be Authentic and Pay It Forward" Not one to embrace cliche (I am a writer after all) this should tell you that the messages sent to me by the LORD when I asked this question are bigger than words. All I can truely say is that in all of those things, are the seeds of change my brother planted in me that August day in 2001. So I use Grapefruitree to honor his memory and to remind me that NOTHING is out of reach when we enlist the help of the LORD to do good.

Pictures: Top, My family in Texas . I took the picture. That's Levi with the "Kitty" in his mouth. My mom made him that stuffed animal. I held a baby in the pocket and the head came off with velcro! Second from top, Levi as a little boy celebrating some victory no doubt over my other brothers Will and Alan, in a game. Second from bottom, Levi in his Army Uniform. Bottom: Levi in Korea right before he died.

The ties that bind...

2006-06-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

Things are really starting to happen. We are an inch away from finalizing our travel plans, documents are all filled out for passports and work permits and visas, and I am starting to see the fruit of my networking efforts. I have now heard from several organizations such as habitat for humanity and UNESCO on finding ways to get these resources to help in Kisii. I think with some additional sweat equity, to borrow the H4H tagline, much will come of this.

In addition, I am starting to get notes of support and encouragement, some even hopeful that they can be part of this journey with us perhaps visiting to help as well! This would be just amazing to me.

But the thing that has me the most hopeful: getting to meet folks from across the country and even world who share similar loves, hopes and vision. People I am connected to seemingly at first, through threads of commonality such as "so and so who knows so and so who is related to so and so", but then as I discover later, on a deeper level as well.

This weekend I got a few emails from California. There was one in particular that had a tone reminding me of a "real letter". Do you remember a real letter?

The kind that comes to you by way of a mailman, in an envelope with a familiar postmark…

The kind that you can touch, the bond of paper gently touching your fingertips as you absorb the tales written in a pen you recognize…

The kind of letter that brings a child away at camp the warm feeling of home and a sweetheart’s kiss to lovers who are separated by war…

It was amazing to me through this letter, to find that this woman and I share so many similar life goals, traits, etc... yet

I live on the east coast, she, the west

She is 64 and I am 31...

So what joins us beyond the fact that we both have dogs of the same breed and are prone to be poor housekeepers?

Shared loves…

And we only found that out by going out on a limb…and sharing with a “common stranger” our story.

So often, though we don’t share with others these days. Contact is casual, we shoot an email, we skim the surface. I wonder why? Is it fear?

If my little mission can connect me with this lovely woman, miles and years apart, what ties would bind us all if we shared more with others? Not just our money or time, but our thoughts and hopes and loves?

Would we find that we are connected on a level much greater than the one we live with today? How many wonderful people have we not touched because we were bashful about sharing the things we truly love?

I posted this picture of Rachael because it is a good reminder that as children we do share this part of us with our family and friends because as children, innocence guides us.

We love with abandon, without the fear of hurt and we share our love for any and everything (including in this case frogs!) without the fear that others might shame us, or put us down for what we care about. We don’t know rejection or emptiness.

Most of you reading this will likely be surprised, but there are many that think this is a very bad idea, and have told me this in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS. I could let this distract me, but then I would not have met such wonderful new people.

A cause, like Mission-Kenya has no distance because through it we can share what we love through usefulness which allows us to make the human connections that really count.

My parting thought for this post:
The TRUTHS that the LORD gives to each of us binds to our LOVES and this combination binds us, one to another, when we choose to be USEFUL.

In my humble opinion, it is only when this happens, that we make those connections that make us whole, make us feel like we are home, no matter where on the globe we really are.

Finding Our Way

2006-05-31T11:05:00.000-07:00

The LORD always finds a way to remind us why we are doing something.
This weekend at Maycamp, I got a little lecture about the value of what I am doing which included the following: "When you come back, you are the kind of person who CAN start the soup kitchen, and do all of those things that will help our church show true love and charity to the neighbor. Don't get disillusioned with the politics and all of that, if you do, you will be no better than those people you are so frustrated with. Instead, do good works and show others they way to love the neighbor- it is something we are really missing in the church."

This little pep talk really infected me with a new sense of confidence, but the LORD never stops with just a "little" confidence. So when I returned home I found in my mailbox a few things I was not expecting: In an envelope, there was a clipped article fromt the Washington Post on a school in Uganda started by someone in the US: the school is called the Arlington Academy of Hope
http://www.arlingtonacademyofhope.org/.

The note included said the following:
"Hi Angela, Enclosed is an article on a rural school in Uganda which may not be too different to the situation you will encounter. I am also enclosing a contribution of $500 to your venture with the idea that you might want to invest in school supplies or other materials you could use in Kissii. This is not a "restricted" donation, so if you need to put the money toward your own family expenses, that's ok too." I am witholding the name of the donor since I did not consult him before posting this.

I know that people say "from your lips..." meaning "from your lips to God's ears" meaning that they hope the LORD is listening.. but I have to tell you that over that same weekend I recieved this pep talk, part of the precipitating conversation centered around how overwhelmed I was feeling, that this was becoming so much bigger than I expected and that I didn't know if the LORD had given me a job too big to handle. I had recently decided I should not ask for monetary donations because setting up a non-profit was a big deal. This just reminded me that the LORD never gives us a job too big for us. It is also a reminder that if we don't do something no one will. (That's not really accurate, I am just making a point that if everyone thinks someone else is going to "pick up the Milk" then in the morning when we go to get our cereal we often find we are out of luck..." )

It also made me feel like people do trust I will be accountable to thier support, and that makes me feel very good. I can't wait to write the donor back when the funds have been spent to tell him what his charity did to support those who have so much less than us.

I want to close this post with the third affirmation from the LORD. Rev. Khalid always seems to know when I am scared about what we are undertaking. Today I got an email that said this:
"Dear Angela,

Please Angela let me request you that do not worry and dont be afraid for sickness this is because the Lord will take care for you and your children while you are here as he took care of the Propheth Elijah, who he was sent to the deserth because of the Lords divine work. Please have faith in the lord himself who as choosen you to come to kisii kenya and work for the growth of our church and school here.May you ask yourself that we have got many men and women, but He only choose you to come with your children here to serve him.

Our prayers are always for you and your children that the Lord will give you easy time for comming here."

The email then included a list of passages for me to read for support. The first was 1 Samuel chapter 3, where Samuel did not recognize the call of the LORD. That is exactly how I feel some days, that I got this call... but maybe I was just "hearing things" right? The LORD called ME? This was a reminder that he did, and I don't always recognize it. But another passage really brought the symetry of the messages I have been hearing since that first "pep talk" this weekend. It is from Sweedenborg's writings, TCR 191:

"191. But the natural man still cannot be convinced by these quotations that the Word is Divine truth itself, containing Divine wisdom and Divine life, because he looks at it from the point of view of its style, and in this he cannot see these things. However, the style of the Word is the actual style of God, beyond comparisons with any other style, however high-flown and magnificent. Such is the style of the Word that there is holiness in every sentence, every word, in some places even every letter. Thus the Word forms a link between man and the Lord, and opens the way to heaven. There are two things which proceed from the Lord, Divine love and Divine wisdom, or in other words Divine good and Divine truth. The Word is in its essence both of these; and because it forms a link between man and the Lord, and opens the way to heaven, as I have said, the Word therefore fills man with the good affections of love and the truths of wisdom, his will with good affections of love, his understanding with the truths of wisdom. This is how man has life by means of the Word. But it ought properly to be known that the only people to have life from the Word are those who read it with the intention of drawing Divine truths from it, like water from the spring, and at the same time with the intention of putting the Divine truths drawn from it into practice in their lives. The reverse happens to those whose only intention in reading the Word is to win honours and gain worldly advantages."

This really brought it full circle for me. From the pep talk, to the kind note, to the passage above... The LORD EXPECTS me to put his truth into practice. I hope you gain similar inspiration.

Picture taken by Bonnie Cowley of a banner created by
Washington New Church
School Students

Inspiration

2006-05-25T17:41:00.000-07:00

Just a short post tonight...
Things are smoothing out...
I hope!

A Note On DIVINE PROVIDENCE:
A close former co-worker of mine, I will call "Jill" since I have not asked her permisison to share her story... and her husband, recently had thier second child. Thier first child was a blessing, born after trial and tribulation. And..sadly born with a rare congenital heart defect. The mom, who works in medical education and the dad who is a police officer outside of NYC, have endured surgery after surgery, setback and triumph and of course a pile of doctors bills.

Then, another miracle, a second baby on the way... and this time... premature, born with some problems in her little lungs. Rushed from one hospital to another... "tested, still not sure... yet she holds on, she is ok...she might even going home soon," my friends email says in a joyful tone.

We all have HIGH SPIRITS for my friend's little girl.

What a lesson. We complain the gas prices are high, that our spouse does not spend enough time, that our teenagers found thier way into a little trouble. Yet here are two parents, with one toddler who has endured so much and a new baby, facing perhaps similar years of surgery, testing or who knows... STILL hopeful in the future.

the messages...1) EACH DAY IS A GIFT
2) TRUST IN THE LORD.
"And David said to Solomon his son, Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the LORD God, even my God, will be with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD."

There is indeed a redeeming quality in struggle, any struggle, including spiritual struggle...
For more on that topic, visit my good friend Rev. Ethan McCardell's website...it is linked in the header above.

It warms a Mother's heart...

2006-05-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Spencer was in a play called The Witch of Blackbird Pond. He had a small part but did wonderful. At intermission he gave me a pillow that he made in school for me for mother's day (they just didn't finish in time)! He sewed it with his own little hands and embroidered the "M" and heart in the middle. My sweet boy! It almost brought me to tears. It was a great reminder that we all have so many things to be greatful for.

On mother's day, Rachael also presented me with a handmade gift, a beautiful rock painted with I Love You. She too, was so proud to have made me something special. And these gifts did make me feel special.

Especially at a time where my whole world is shifting. Over the frustration of the last few days trying to get the Africa mission off the ground and running into obstacle after obstacle, I forgot that if everything else in my world went awry tomorrow I would still have the two greatest gifts, my children. So yes, I am very sad that Chris won't be joining us at maycamp. I was really looking forward to playing spades with him like we used to in the old days, watching the kids play, etc. but things happen, and you have to find your focus in more positive happenings! Like, the beautiful day the kids and I spent in the park the other day.

A very wise and close friend reminded me a few days ago when all the challanges started and I was close to tears that when we are trying to do something good, the HELLS can really attack us. They are loosing the battle for us, especially when we focus on pursuits that help make more angels! In the wise intellect of CS LEWIS, that is Screwtape taking advantage of a trough in our lives to attack us and keep us down, distract us just long enough to take our hearts away from godly pusuits. Well I am not going to let that happen... not as long as son's still prick thier fingers to sew thier mothers pillows and daughters make rocks more precious than the rarest gem ;-)

Anything worth having...

2006-05-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

So, let's see, since my last update it has been dealing with one detail after another...
and many hurdles. :-(

Personally, I have been struggling with the fact that Christian (the kids father) is likely not coming with us. This was always a real possibility, even a probability. But you can hope right? And this is causing me to have to jump through a few legal hoops to make sure I can take the kids out of country. $$$ I was not thinking I had to spend.

Additionally, we still wait for our Long QT tests (my brother Levi died of Long QT in August of 2001) before we get our vaccinations. Just to be safe, if one of us does have LQT, we need to get beta blockers before we get shots. (visit the SADS foundation by clicking this post's header to learn more about this underdiagnosed disorder)

Finally, as I hoped, but maybe was not prepared for, I realized today that many people want us to succeed and are willing to contribute to our cause... but in doing so we really need to set up a non-profit organization or dovetail in with an existing one who shares a similar mission or purpose.

I know that I want this to be one of many good uses initiated by this mission, but this is a little scary! All this uncharted water! Sometimes my little brain forgets the big picture here and reverts to my original brainchild which was as simple as, "While I have the money and time, I should do something useful for this world and my children". Reality is that there are children who could be going to school if I was able to put the power of good behind this and set up an organization that extended beyond little old me!

I KNOW that is why I am doing this. To create a roadmap for others who want to do this. AND this is really in the LORD's hands and I need to take a step back and trust that providence will lead me.

So today, I guess the triumph is that I kept putting one foot in front of the other: I made a choice to hold off on accepting monetary donations until I could finalize some of the admin details and I made plans to visit the lawyer.

And when I have a really bad day, I remember the scripture that Rev. Khalid sent me the last time challanges were getting me down:

Isaiah 61

¹The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

²To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

³To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

⁴And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.

⁵And strangers shall stand and feed your flocks, and the sons of the alien shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.

⁶But ye shall be named the Priests of the LORD: men shall call you the Ministers of our God: ye shall eat the riches of the Gentiles, and in their glory shall ye boast yourselves.

And further from the book of John:

¹⁶Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

I take special pleasure in looking up this last passage in the special New Testament bible in Swahili that Doc Radcliffe gifted me while visiting him and his son David in Washington DC a few weekends ago. It sounds even more beautiful in the language I hope becomes our second tongue...

$17 Dollars

2006-05-19T10:35:00.000-07:00

Last night, as a reward for excellent scores on the IOWA tests and good progress reports in school, the kids and I went to get Chineese food and then to see a movie. All told I probably spent $55, 60 bucks.

When I got home, I sat down to do some work I sent an email to Rev. Khalid. I wanted to find out how many children in the microcosm of our school have been affected by the AIDS epidemic.

Here is his response:

"Hi Angela, children and Chris,

Thanks for your quick reply to my emails always, which makes me to be excited to what you are doing for your trip to Kisii this fall.

I want to respond to your Questions.

The total number of our church school here in kisii is 187.

Their grades are from grade one through grade seven, plus the nursery school.

Thr total of our church members is as from seventhy and above in our three congregations.

Our students that are affected in our school 16 as we know that their parents passed away to because of this aids.

The name of of school is as follows:

NAME :THE NEW CHURCH SCHOOL RIOUNDE ACADEMY, AND THE NEW

CHURCH ORPHANAGE HOME IN KISII SOCIETY.

P.O BOX 3959 KISII 40200 KENYA.

The school fees for each child is = kshs 1150 which is about $17 ayear this is because most of them are poor to even feed themselves.

The greatest needs in our church school is food for the orphans that I am taking care of here, library, bigger classooms, bigger teachers officess, also our church clinic to get enough drugs to help the church members as well as to help the orphans when they get sick, also to help our students when they are sick here and many others.

If you have got any questions please be free to ask me.

We are very much happy to get your progress on your trip of comming here to kisii this fall. I know that we have been called to serve him.

I hope to be learning from you next.

May God bless you richly.

Rev. khalid"

$17? $17 DOLLARS? I am not sure I can reconcile that... It cost me $1,7000 to send my kids to school this year, and that tuition is CHEAP by American standards. You mean I could have paid school fees for 100 children with that?

Last night, our dinner and movie would send 3+ children to school?

This is the mind shift we need to make...
I don't think we should feel guilty for the abundance we have here in America, but surely we need to consider becoming better stewards of the wealth we recieve.

One thing is for sure, I am learning a lot in this journey, and I am sure I will learn more as time goes on.

More tomorrow friends,
Angela

How Our Journey Began

2006-05-18T08:17:00.000-07:00

Many have asked asked how our journey began...
In another post I will share how I got to the point of considering a mission ... but for now I will start from the point of my first correspondance from Rev. Khalid Obiri dated April 10th:

"Dearest Angela,

Thank you very much for your very moving email letter undated. We are pleased that all our prayers have been answered through your love for New Church in Africa.

The New Church in Kenya is beginning to grow rapidly more than 100 people regularly try to cram into the room that houses the main New Church in Kisii Nyanza Province country Kenya. Nearly 150 more people attend 6 other home groups in rural areas.

We would be pleased to have you come here to Kenya for two years or more. We are glad that we use have Angela in Kenya for more that 5 years with her children. We are sure she will do much good in the area of health care e.t.c. We are sure you will bee a great blessing to the work of New Church in Kenya.

We ask you to come to this country of Kenya, as soon as you feel that it is time to come, we were all of one mind, that we need you here to teach our villagers about care, clinic and teach the Bible in our cschool etc. How much pleased we would be if you come this year. Please write us whether you can. New church in Africa is not without its share of problems and challenges.

HEALTH CARE.

People walk literally for hours to seek medical help and if they are too sick to walk they are carried by stretchers across valleys and mountains. When they reach the goveernment clinics if the right medicine is not found, as it is sometimes the caase, they get disappointed.

The government would like to esstablish clinics for villagers unfortunately, each year the government finds that treasury funds are exhausted long before they reach the expenditure for clinics. We greatly appreciate the loving support received from New Church wourld wide.

We are looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,
Rev. Khalid"

I was very touched when I read this and needless to say, I had in that instant decided that we would go to Kenya to help.

The church in Kenya has a school with more than 187 children. Resources are limited, and many children have lost one or both parents to illness such as AIDS, Malaria and other diseases endemic to the region.

Clearly the LORD could see usefulness for me there... I had as they say, recieved my call. But now.. the hard work of planning and raising sponsorships would have to begin...

Karibu!

2006-05-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

Karibu! or...Welcome, Swahili style!